Acceptance
March 5th 2009 06:05
Yesterday I had a thought about myself that changed the way I think about everything. It seems to be that many things have been left behind as I tried to fit in with society. .. the thought was that I am not who I say I am but who I act as - this is not the way I think of myself at all. It's very telling that we act in particular ways that defy our notions of ourselves. I wonder who we are trying to kid!
The idea is that we are all trying to be someone good and worthy yet our actions are angry and thoughtless many times a day. Have we simply stopped thinking about who we are and what we do because we don't want to admit that maybe we aren't 'good' at all, but rather we are just these beings trying to get through life - struggling in other words. So the question is, how do we ground ourselves and come back to seeing ourselves clearly. The question only has one answer as far as I can tell - to struggle some more!! I don't know that this is a particularly useful way of looking at my issues with myself, but there you have it... one more struggle to overcome before I can be myself... whatever that may be...
I don't doubt our ability to be calm, centred and in control of our actions but I do doubt that our society holds the keys - especially that part of society that tells us we need to be 'good' people, it's really not an intrinsic part of our nature. Our nature as far as I can tell is to just be who ever we are at any given time - if most of us looked right now that would probably be totally limited, angry and unjustified in many of our actions, yet I can also see that this is ok - it has to be ok because until we say that it's ok to be who we are right now we can't give ourselves permission to change. I don't know what the answer is to accepting our anger and frustrations and being ok with all the shitty things that we've done to ourselves and people around us, but I do know that there must be a way to accepting...........
The idea is that we are all trying to be someone good and worthy yet our actions are angry and thoughtless many times a day. Have we simply stopped thinking about who we are and what we do because we don't want to admit that maybe we aren't 'good' at all, but rather we are just these beings trying to get through life - struggling in other words. So the question is, how do we ground ourselves and come back to seeing ourselves clearly. The question only has one answer as far as I can tell - to struggle some more!! I don't know that this is a particularly useful way of looking at my issues with myself, but there you have it... one more struggle to overcome before I can be myself... whatever that may be...
I don't doubt our ability to be calm, centred and in control of our actions but I do doubt that our society holds the keys - especially that part of society that tells us we need to be 'good' people, it's really not an intrinsic part of our nature. Our nature as far as I can tell is to just be who ever we are at any given time - if most of us looked right now that would probably be totally limited, angry and unjustified in many of our actions, yet I can also see that this is ok - it has to be ok because until we say that it's ok to be who we are right now we can't give ourselves permission to change. I don't know what the answer is to accepting our anger and frustrations and being ok with all the shitty things that we've done to ourselves and people around us, but I do know that there must be a way to accepting...........
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