What a Word means
January 9th 2011 03:08
I've been thinking about the word 'rape' and how useless it is as a healing tool...
It is loaded with so many connotations and meanings that it tends to impair healing of the event rather than allowing meaning and hope to flow through. It is an overwhelming word that should be used with caution!
Instead we need to think about what the word actually implies - a whole series of things involved in the actual event, that when broken down may be more manageable to deal with. Such as:
control of
power over
manipulation
physical pain
These things, to me, are easy to understand because they are definable and make the whole incidence seem less and less scary. I can see that whilst this person had control over my space for a moment that control is no longer there - it was a moment in time that is now resolving itself.
If on the hand I just focus on being 'raped' - I hate to use the word - I am completely overwhelmed. I feel emotional, horrible and useless...mostly because the term rape implies that it was my fault in some way, maybe I didn't "ask for it" but I somehow I should have been more careful.
Maybe I should have but that's hardly a useful point to dwell on. I can beat myself up, inother words, by using hard to manage words about what happened to me or I can just let it be what it is - control, manipulation and pain. These words have a resolution and very specific meanings in term of the event. 'Rape' is a word, on the other hand, to explain an event that most women are blamed for getting themselves into.
Being careful how we phrase our circumstances in life is just so important. If we throw what happened to us into this basket of meaningless banter and social connotations we cannot fully heal.
It is loaded with so many connotations and meanings that it tends to impair healing of the event rather than allowing meaning and hope to flow through. It is an overwhelming word that should be used with caution!
Instead we need to think about what the word actually implies - a whole series of things involved in the actual event, that when broken down may be more manageable to deal with. Such as:
control of
power over
manipulation
physical pain
These things, to me, are easy to understand because they are definable and make the whole incidence seem less and less scary. I can see that whilst this person had control over my space for a moment that control is no longer there - it was a moment in time that is now resolving itself.
If on the hand I just focus on being 'raped' - I hate to use the word - I am completely overwhelmed. I feel emotional, horrible and useless...mostly because the term rape implies that it was my fault in some way, maybe I didn't "ask for it" but I somehow I should have been more careful.
Maybe I should have but that's hardly a useful point to dwell on. I can beat myself up, inother words, by using hard to manage words about what happened to me or I can just let it be what it is - control, manipulation and pain. These words have a resolution and very specific meanings in term of the event. 'Rape' is a word, on the other hand, to explain an event that most women are blamed for getting themselves into.
Being careful how we phrase our circumstances in life is just so important. If we throw what happened to us into this basket of meaningless banter and social connotations we cannot fully heal.
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